"Why cant I go?"
He leaned against his elbow as he turned to face me. A sad expression rested on his face.
"You know I want more than anything is for you to go. But, things just dont work that way."
He smiled calmly as though to cheer me up but I looked down and frowned at the floor.
"You cant go...never in my life would I think that I would be so far away from you. Never have I thought that you would be gone somehwere else, only to leave me behind."
"You know I wouldn't go if I could help it..." He lifted his hand to my cheeck and grazed it with his palm,"But its not my decision."
"Its not fair."I replied as I looked up. I felt stern and almost angry but I kept my calm as my pain and rage melted away inside.
He wrapped his arms around me and pushed me to the floor. After a while he layed his head on my chest and I looked up at the ceiling. Why is everything so difficult?

One bad moment in time, lasts forever. This bad moment sinks into your head and haunts your mind for eternity. It doesn't let go of your dreams as you sleep, or your thoughts as you're awake. Its forever burned into your heart and no matter what happens in your life its never going to go away. "You must learn to live with it." I've heard. What if this bad moment cannot be accepted? What if for one whole moment in your life everything is wrong and you could not find a way to fix it? What if it never goes away? What if no matter what happens it never leaves you alone like a ghost in your mind, forever haunting your nightmares?
I dont understand life and I dont have all the answers. That is what we all ask for...answers. What if there ARE no answers. What if it just lingers in your thoughts and can never be explained rationaly? That's how I felt...like I couldn't seem to get this whole thing off my mind and everything was falling apart, I couldn't do anything about it and more than that I knew that for a long time I be without the one person who could make everything ok. NOTHING could excuse that.

"Come here..."I whispered.I turned my head to watch him get closer to me as I put my arms around his shoulders. He got comfortable and then exhaled stressfuly in the dark. I waited to speak my final word.
"No matter where you go...we'll never be apart." He kissed my cheek and then rested back down again. "I know." He said softly.